Winter

Every morning now when I wake up, the fields are white with frost. There is such a bite in the air early mornings, I've been forced to keep good track of my hat and remember where I last set my gloves. Its been so pleasant and sunny this year, I had hoped we were skipping right over winter into spring. Although I know that it would probably cause droughts this summer, I still selfishly wished the seasons would accommodate my trial period as a farmer, and arrange themselves in the following order this year: Fall, Spring, Spring, Summer ... But I will accept the inevitable arrival of winter, late as it may be, and stock up on long underwear and Vitamin B12.

Meanwhile, around the farm, there is so much to do before Spring planting that we'll be grateful for a month or two reprieve. Though winter weather makes the chores more difficult to accomplish, at least there is still time to sit around and plan, steaming cups of tea in our hands, big garden dreams growing in our heads. Marcia, though her hands are more than full enough with the goats, is dreaming up the biggest plans of all. She wants to extend the gardens, which are currently 42' by 43' and about 25' by 20'. I'll allow that this is not nearly the space we need to grow enough veggies for the whole farm crew (12 people in high intern season), but that seems an unnecessarily lofty goal for a first year garden. They didn't even get the existing gardens planted in time last year, and there are always so many other chores that need attention. The goats, poor things, haven't been out to pasture near enough because the fences all need repair. Even if they did go out, they wouldn't be able to browse because nothing has been planted in the pasture but grass. So they are stuck in stalls eating hay, which contributes to the mess inside the barn, which desperately needs cleaning. And their hooves need trimming, there are 40 more baby goats coming, the basement is still flooding, the feeders need cleaning, the tractor needs lubing, the chicken coop needs fixing, and new interns need training throughout it all. Meanwhile the compost to improve the currently poor garden soil has not broken down enough to be safe- and from what I understand, should NEVER be used anyway, based on some questionable items that have found their way into the pile. So, where does that leave the garden plans? I hate to be the voice of reason, but the gardens should not take priority. (Ok, I don't hate it that much!)

When a person accepts responsibility for a herd of live animals, seeks it out purposefully, even, that needs to take priority. It saddens me that I don't see that happening here. The owners are nice people, not in the bland way, but in the true sense of the word. They help their neighbors, pass on knowledge freely, practice Christian values, give milk goats to orphans, and such. They are so nice. And its not that they are taking long vacations or intentionally abusing their animals. Its more a problem of poor management skills and inability to see things through. For though they lavish affection on the goats, they turn a blind eye to the part they are playing in causing these goats to have health problems, unnecessarily restricted activity, and ultimately, less happy lives. And while they dote on their dogs, they leave them in small kennels or they allow them to reproduce past demand for puppies. Come spring, it will barely be a step above a puppy mill here, unless something changes soon.

I just wanted to write a simple posting about the changes I am noticing in the weather, and the excitement of Spring around the corner. I wanted to feel that excitement, as well. To plan a garden, and be excited to see it from planting to harvest day. To see the baby goats arriving, and feel happy to see them stumbling around on shaky, new legs, learning to play. But I find I am unable to be that positive. I am worried. I am upset. I have not only doubts about the way things are done here on this farm, I am also starting to question the morality of keeping livestock, at least in large amounts. I am not going vegan- not yet, anyway- but I have some real thinking to do about what type of industry I am willing to support. Pretty heavy stuff after just one week...

I wonder, should I stay and try at least to do some relief work and fix what is fixable, or plan to move on to another WWOOFing position where vegetables are grown using organic practices I hoped to learn? Does it benefit me, or the goats, or the environment to stay here and try to change habits and minds? Or does it make more sense to work alongside people who may need me less, but teach me more, and, in then end whose values I can respect?